Most guys are either too nervous or too fake when
approaching ladies. But states have significant
drawbacks. The only way to defeat all those problems and
have success every time is to act in a natural way.
Easier said than done… but, using some of the skills I
can teach you, perfectly doable.
In the Wish-I-Forgot mists of time…
I want you to take a moment and step into that time
machine we call memory, and travel back to the first
time you approached a girl.
Or the first time you talked to a girl with romantic
intent – maybe calling her off your junior high phone
list, whatever.
Now, fine-tune that machine and don’t glaze over a thing
– get deeper than the facts and acts, examine the
emotions and colors?
What do you see?
Does it, perhaps, involve sweaty palms and a clumsy
tongue?
Eyes cast downward and body twitchy?
Thought so.
Now, much less taxing, think back to the most RECENT
encounter you’ve had with a woman.
Your mom doesn’t count.
What was it like?
Was it similar to your first in any way?
Did you get jittery, even if only for a second?
Did you TALK to her while nervous?
That ain’t good.
The problem with nerves
We ALL get nervous occasionally – usually in a nice
simple relationship to our experience and her
attractiveness.
It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that nervousness
isn’t a good thing – in fact, it’s about the WORST thing
you can carry into a pick-up. Any chance of being
thought of as confident or together is gone, instantly.
Now, dealing with it isn’t as easy as realizing it’s a
problem.
Now the REAL nut is, nerves aren’t the only thing you
have to worry about.
Playing the game?
Lots of guys have come up with their own ways to push
the nerves to the side – whether it’s putting on a
different persona, psyching themselves up, getting into
a war mentality or what-have-you.
True, this works a little better than the big stutter –
since at least you’re making contact.
But also true, if you are acting differently from your
normal, non-flirting self, a woman will know it.
And unless you’ve got an indiscriminately randy lady on
your hands, that false front is ALWAYS going to cause
problems.
That’s why it ain’t enough to simply be RELAXED, you’ve
also got to be NATURAL.
Act naturally
The biggest key, of course, is defeating your nerves.
One of the BEST methods I’ve found is through a little
self-guided meditation.
I’m not going to give away all my secrets, BUT I can
tell you the basics.
Once you’ve got yourself in the right state, you call up
both your nervous emotions, and then your positive
relaxed ones.
Then, you CONSUME your negative thoughts with your
positive ones.
The result is, whenever you start to get those
butterflies, you’ve conditioned yourself to call up
POSITIVE RELAXED states.
Now, that might seem like the toughest part, and indeed,
for you it might be.
Lose the mask
But if you’ve developed a player mode to help get rid of
your flutters, than deprogramming this damaging behavior
might take even more time.
Why? Because, in comparison to your earlier attempts,
it’s done the job. Sure, it actually hurts in the larger
scheme, but you’re used to thinking of it as something
that works (albeit in a scattershot way).
When you encounter a stumbling block, you’re going to be
REALLY tempted to revert.
You’ve created a comfort around this persona, and UNLESS
you concentrate, your head is going to keep returning to
it.
Unlike with nerves, which has NEVER had any positive
reinforcement.
So now, let’s work on CONVINCING yourself that a NATURAL
approach is the way to go.
Role-play time… don’t enjoy it TOO much
Say you’re a woman.
Alright, stop fondling your breasts and get serious.
Two guys come up to you, identical in nearly every way.
The only difference is, one seems to be living his life,
while the other seems to be chasing you.
Which one are you more likely to be attracted to?
Yeah, whenever you put on your player mask, you are
telling the woman you WANT HER. BAD.
You create a chase scenario – with you as the pursuer.
Don’t chase
It’s human nature to run when you’re being chased.
What’s more, there’s none of that sparkling mystery
involved. You want her, so she can have you whenever she
feels like it. Simple as that.
Compare this to the same dude, just as cool, just as
charming, but he isn’t chasing you.
He’s fun without forcing it, and doesn’t have an
ulterior motive.
He is who he is.
Not to mention, there’s a good bit of intrigue.
Make her think… and WORK for your attention. Don’t give
it away.
‘I mean,’ the female you thinks, ‘most guys throw
themselves at me. But not this one, I wonder if he’s
even interested? I wonder if I can GET him interested?’
You don’t have to watch a lot of teen flicks to know
guys prefer the unreachable lady, and ladies reject guys
who obviously worship them.
In the movies often the guys and gals end up with the
one they’re ‘supposed’ to be with and not the one who’s
out of reach.
That’s not usually the way it REALLY works, though.
And even in the movies the unreachable bitchy hottie
needs to BECOME reachable before she’s rejected.
As long as she’s out of reach – or thought of that way –
she’s more alluring.
And it works the same way with ladies.
Put on your player face, and you are COMPLETELY
reachable. And where’s the fun in that?
Again, saying it’s good to be natural and actually
ACTING naturally around hot women is a very different
thing. And again, if you want in on the secrets that
will make all the difference, you should check out my
program
Opening Magic. It will
change everything for you.
Regards,
Derek Vitalio
More articles |